1. Running for more than 30 seconds is real life torture.
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2. Even the really tiny weights make your arms burn with the power of a thousand suns.
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3. Your flexibility leaves you filled with shame.
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4. Some people are really not supportive of your exercise endeavours.
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5. Whereas others are far too attentive.
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6. You overestimate your ability every time.
7. Otherwise known as ‘foolish gym cockiness’.
8. It’s been so long you can’t remember how anything works.
9. Your gym clothes have gone AWOL.
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10. Your gym membership is rinsing your bank balance.
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11. Which leaves you with major gym guilt.
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12. That early workout you scheduled? Turns out ‘early’ is very horrible.
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13. There are lots of confusing exercise words to learn.
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14. You don’t know any ‘proper’ gym moves, so you just make them up.
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15. You know you should exercise but your desire to eat is greater.
16. Doing weights makes you feel on the brink of actual death.
17. You get overzealous with the treadmill settings and instantly regret it.
18. The concept of trying to look good while exercising is still a worry.
(That wears off when you realise nobody looks good working out.)
19. Sometimes you make mistakes…
20. You feel judged by the dedicated gymmers because you don’t always take it seriously.
21. At first, you feel really good and you’re like, ‘YEAH, I’m working out!’
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22. But then you get off the machine and discover your legs don’t work any more.