1. Like gloves, which make easy moose antlers:
Directions at The Dragon’s Fairy Tail. Skeptical toddler not included.
2. Make bat wings from an old umbrella:
3. A picture frame and some non-toxic paint can turn you into a work of art in minutes:
Just make sure you wear clothes you don’t mine ruining in case the paint doesn’t come off.
4. Or, if you’re more into Pop Art than Impressionism:
5. Use paper towels to make a mummy costume:
If you want to be especially relevant, dress up as something from the news:
6. Like the giant eyeball:
It recently washed up on a beach in Florida and caused rampant speculation about its origins. Make it using these instructions; just be sure to size up if it’s for you, since aforementioned guidelines are for a kid’s costume.
7. The iPhone 5:
Cut holes in a box for your arms and head, and print out or paint the apps you’d like to display (maybe leave off the WebMD Mobile app you consult whenever you cough more than once in the course of a single day).
8. The Jesus fresco:
9. The Mars rover:
10. Or Paul Ryan:
Draw on a widow’s peak with some eyeliner or shadow, powder your face extra pale, and if you happen to have a gigantic blazer lying around, throw that on, too. If you really want to take it easy, just print and cut out this handy mask.
The beauty of this costume is that it doubles as…
11. …A vampire!
Just voluminize the hair, play up the eyebrows, and add blood.
Couple’s costumes that won’t make everybody hate you:
12. Bacon and egg:
13. Silent film stars:
Wear black and white clothes and makeup, and make your own text cards.
14. Peanut butter and jelly:
Pin labels to your t-shirts and you’re good to go.
15. Tom Hanks’ character and Wilson the volleyball from “Castaway”:
For Tom: get a fake (or real!) beard, a Fed Ex package, and some tattered shorts.
For Wilson: papier-maché a beach ball and paint it white, then paint a face in red (directions here).
All this takes is two large buckets and some paint. Full instructions available here.
17. Paint chips:
Check out the directions for this simple costume for every lazy person here. Because the only thing better than DIY is DIY about DIY.
Group costumes are fun and low-stress (just make sure it still works even if one of your friends decides to leave the party):
18. With matching tracksuits and fake gold medals, you could be the US Olympic Women’s Gymnastics Team:
Pull your ponytails back real tight and practice your McKayla Maroney face.
WIth paint, scissors and cardboard boxes, you can be the most classic of all time-wasting games. Learn how here.
20. Rocks, paper, and scissor:
Do you have paper, bright-colored t-shirts and an assortment of friends? Great; you’re basically done making this group costume.
You know who absolutely loves Halloween (or at least doesn’t have a firm enough grasp of the English language to communicate hatred)? Your baby!
22. Popcorn vendor:
Wrap a BabyBjorn or other snuggly in felt and glue popcorn to your baby’s hat. Get a bowtie and suspenders for yourself, and make peace with the fact that you are fake-peddling your child as if it were food.
23. Spider and web:
This costume, also from Martha Stewart uses socks to make the baby spider’s legs.
24. Bank robber:
Throw on your ski gear and make a money sack out of a pillowcase.
25. The old man and the little boy from “Up”:
The full instructions for this adorable costume are here, but you don’t have to handmake every detail; you could use an old Boy or Girl Scout sash and a backpack rather than making them yourself. Balloons are a must.
26. But remember, just because you can DIY something doesn’t mean you should. Like Snooki and Lorenzo:
Is drawing abs on your baby something you’re actually allowed to do?
27. Or these boobs:
Pro: all this takes is two t-shirts and some extra fabric.
Con: neither of you can ever show your faces in public ever again.
And even if you’re not into wearing a costume yourself, you can always dress up your pet:
These directions are fairly complicated, but even just the hat and the tiny plastic parrot could work wonders.